Hipster Fixie Vamps (aka Fri happy hr at Mars Bar, Puttin' on Ritz Sat, and more)

8Ball — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 18:42:00 +0000

Hello Friendly Person

I’ll be honest, I’ve been having a tough time since Corey Haim died. But not just because of the tragedy of it all, I mean the guy was Lucas fer chrissake! What I’m really mourning is the passing of my dreams to snorting blow off the backsides of models with Hollywood’s finest at the Mondrian after establishing myself as a highly successful screenwriter. See, when Corey Haim was put in a coffin so was my great idea for a sequel to Lost Boy—a sequel that would reboot Haim’s career, kick-start mine, and turn the whole vampire craze inside out. I might as well share the outline with you now, since you are the only audience who will ever know about this important piece of cinematic cogitation.

FADE IN:

We have a slow opening SHOT on a foggy night in SF. We know it’s foggy because you can hear the fog HORNS, plus there’s all this FOG. It’s all very EVOCATIVE.

We’re up in Twin Peaks and it seems like a pleasant enough spooky night, until we hear the scared PANTING of some guy. Then we see him, and he’s this old cyclist in one of those gay, tight spandex cycling body suits, and he’s peddling hard and looking back over his shoulder like he’s scared for his LIFE or something. He races by the camera, and then we hear sinister LAUGHING, peddling, and WHOOSHING. We don’t see the originators of this cacophony of chaos, but we know they’re bad because they sound EVIL.

CUT TO the biker guy. He’s at the top of Twin Peaks now, he’s out of breath, but he’s prepared to keep going. Then there’s a WHOOSHING sound and get suddenly gets a FLAT TIRE. He SCREAMS. Now with a flat tire, the guy is totally at the mercy of the evil that’s pursued him, and he’s in trouble because these things have NO MERCY. The last we see of him is a shot from ABOVE, as something evil descends on him, lifts him off his bike, and carries him off into fog and LAUGHTER.

MUSIC plays and the credits roll: LOST BOYS: FIXIE HIPSTER VAMPS OF DOOM

Then we INTRODUCE the protagonist. His name is BRODY, and he’s an extremely good-looking kid from the mid-west who’s moved to San Francisco with his younger brother with dreams of opening an organic coffee shop in the Mission. For now, though, he settles for working in an organic coffee house in the Mission and working on his bicycle, which is rad. It’s clear Brody is not local, though, because he doesn’t have a beard or skinny jeans, and none of his tshirts are at all ironic.

CUT TO an evening shot of Market Street. It’s CRITICAL MASS and Brody is riding with his brother on rad bikes, attempting to make friends. Brody’s attention is captured by an extremely hot, but dark and evil-looking chick with BANGS, riding a fixie. Her name is DAPHNE and she eye fucks Brody until he starts to ride towards her, and then she rides away to join a group of extremely good-looking HIPSTER FIXIE VAMPS who are riding along side Critical Mass, looking mean. They all have these IRONIC beards, plus skinny jeans, and some of them even look HOMELESS-CHIC. Daphne rides with them and she has big SUNGLASSES. They take on look at Brody’s bike, which is not a fixie, and they laugh and ride away menacingly.

THE PLOT CONTINUES TO EVOLVE IN A CAPTIVATING WAY

Brody is compelled to hang out with the evil Fixie Hipsters, who push him to his bicycle riding LIMITS. Brody is pretty cool, but they’re like ‘meh’. Later, Brody’s brother notices that Brody is wearing skinny jeans, and he’s started to grow a beard. He’s starting to CHANGE.

THE PLOT CONTINUES TO EVOLVE IN AN EVEN MORE CAPTIVATING WAY

Later in the story, there’s a CONFRONTATION, wherein Brody is forced to confront the head Hipster Vamp. Brody’s brother enlists the help of Corey Haim and Frank Chu to fight the vampires, and Frank uses his 12 Galaxies sign as a stake, which impales the lead vampire and FREES San Francisco from the curse of the evil Hipster Fixie Vamps.

Or does IT?

FADE TO BLACK

XO, H8B

UPCOMING EVENTS

THIS FRIDAY, April 2nd – Funky Friday Happy Hour at Mars Bar
SF’s more whoreable DJ 8ball new school funk, breaks, mash-ups, hiphop and more. Drink specials, great food, and a back patio—what more could you need to wind down from your week.
Free, 5 – 9pm
Mars Bar – 798 Brannan Street (@ 7th)

Friday, April 2nd in Squaw, Tahoe
Mancub plays Squaw
10-2 am $5

Saturday, April 3 – Puttin’ on the RITZ
Dress Up and Git Down with the Brass Cowboys… a Spring Formal fundraiser! The Bently Reserve
301 Battery St, San Francisco
8PM to Late (Side rooms close at 2 AM) Presales available here

A group of good friends, DJ’s and party promoters teamed up to do the AIDS ride this year. It’s a 545 mile bike ride from SF to LA to raise money for the SF AIDS Foundation. Show us your support by coming out and having a great time. Please come dressed to impress! It’s gonna be one for the history books, folks, and it’s all for a great cause!

The party starts at 8pm with our special Happy Hour Featuring Toph One & Dr. Toast & Free Hors d’oeuvres! —> Art installation by the fabulous Peter Hudson featuring “Sisyphish”, the stroboscopic marvel! —> Silent auction including exclusive designs by local fashion designers and a Bus Party w/ Das Frachtgut (Teacher with the Bus)

Couture Fashions will be presented in a special Fashion Show brought to you by The Style Division! Designers: Alexandra von Brommsen, Gelareh, Miranda Caroligne, Miss Velvet Cream, Silver Lucy Design, and Tamo Design.

Presenting your amazing DJ line-up for the evening…
Carbon Community
3L3tronic
8Ball
Aaron Jae & Bam
Agent Zero V. Influence
Brad Robinson V. Deckard
Benchun V. Dr. Toast
DJJD
Ding Dong V. JoeJoe
Ernie Jam (ie., the ernie & larry show)
Ian Lokae
Kapt’n Kirk V. Smoove
Kramer V. Ethan Miller
Krunkle V. Ernie
Murphstar
Phoenix (aka Donna Matrix)
Shissla V. Tamo
Toph 1

First tier tickets (which include entry into a raffle for a Burning Man ticket) have almost sold out! We have a limited number of tickets available at $15 and then tickets will be $20 until the day before the show or until we sell out whichever comes first. Tickets available at the event will start at $25 or higher so get your presale tickets now. You do not want to miss this event!

Saturday, April 3rd at Lakeside Pizza, Tahoe City by Safeway
Mancub plays for your Tahoe pleasure
10-2am $5

Friday, April 9th – Wish bar SF 9 year anniversary
Mancub plays Wish’s anniversary party
Free 12-2am

Saturday, April 10th – Furry Party
With Mancub
at the Stud
$10, 12-2am

Friday, April 29th – C-mon and Kypski at The Independent
Mancub is opening
Tickets for sale through The Independent
More info

Thursday, April 8th – NIGHTLIFE at CALIFORNIA ACADEMY OF SCIENCE
The Space Cowboys are thrilled to help host NIGHTLIFE at the Academy of Sciences on April 8th. Not only will the Unimog be rocking in front of the Academy, we will have DJs all over the academy to help kick off Yuri’s Night in the bay Area. Yuri’s Night is an annual celebration of humanity’s achievements in space. Taking place every April, it commemorates the anniversary of Yuri Gagarin’s first flight into space (in 1961) and the first launch of the US Space Shuttle (in 1981). This year, the Academy joins the over 100 parties in 36 countries on 6 continents taking part.

The special activities of the night will include:
—-A 3D Tour of Mars in the Planetarium. Get your free tix for each screening as soon as you get inside the academy.
—-Robots roaming the museum floor courtesy of ROBOGAMES.com
—-A Tour of the Night Sky with the San Francisco Amateur Astronomers on the living roof.
—-and of course the amazing music of Space Cowboy DJs all over the place

The Space Cowboys will also be hosting an AFTER Nightlife event at MILK on Haight Street. Look for posters and details at the event, and after the academy come over to MILK for another cocktail and more music by the Space Cowboys. The event at MILK is FREE!

21+ at the academy on Thursday nights, sorry kiddies!
Tickets for the Academy of Sciences are on sale now here
More info

Thursday, April 8th – Space Cowboys presents Yuri’s Night 2010 Kickoff Party!
...after party for the Yuri’s Night Celebration at the Academy of Sciences..

Break out your silver glam and space helmet and let’s kickoff the Yuri’s Night weekend celebration cowboy style.
It’s FREE and we will hopefully have the Mog parked outside!!

Your Space Cowboy DJ’s….
Mancub
Shissler
ShOOey
Tamo

@ MILK SF
1840 Haight Street
9:30pm – 2:00am, 21+
FREE!

www.milksf.com
More info

May 1st – ‘Uno de Mayo’ (SAVE THE DATE)
Your favorite bordello-style baccnalia is back bigger ‘n badder than ever. With DJs from SpaceCowboys, House of Lotus, DeepEnd, BrassTax and more.

NEW MUSIC

Hey Boys and Girls,
A live recording of DJ rrrus’ set from the patio at Breakfast of Champions 2010 is now available for your listening pleasure!

There are two ways you can get rrrus’ mix. 1. By subscribing to The Space Cowboys RIPEcast at the Apple iTunes store (it’s free). The link below will get you to The RIPEcast homepage at the iTunes store and from there you just click on the “subscribe free” button under our logo Click here 2. Or if you’re not an iTunes user, you can get rrrus’ set right away (along with all the other RIPEcast mixes we’ve released to date) using this link

And now a few words from rrrus on his BoC experience… “Holy f. Ten years of Breakfast of Champion

The most amazing dancing institution of SF. This was my 7th to DJ. An honor, a privilege, and what a motherfing blow out! I came to BOC 2010 ready to play the mid-tempo breaky funk, but stepping up to the tables while a Brad Robinson dancefloor was in full effect forcedmore desperate measures. Out comes the spankin’ house. The crowd goes wild. What a gas!! – rrrus”

Here’s what happened:

Cuban Cigar – Da Skunk
Just F**k (Sandy W Remix) – Tom Neville
Ride Me Baby – Macca
Lightness – Vince G
Noize (Nilz remix) – Gabriel vs. Nilz
How it Should Be – Joshua Heath
Libella Swing – Parov Stelar
I Refuse – Joshua Heath
Freak Technique (rrre-edit) – Chuck Love
Funky-Ass Beat (Joey Youngman Heat Index Remix) – Chuck Love
Peaches & Herb – Neighbour
SuperJam (Flow Dynamics Remix) / Tricka Technology [Acapella] – All Good Funk Alliance
We Can Dance (All Good Funk Alliance remix) – Trotter
Drunk On The Funk – Neighbour
Joytime Radio – The Pimps Of Joytime
Ny Funk (Fort Knox Five Remix) – All Good Funk Alliance

Soul of Man on the Gough Street Sessions
So earlier this week an unexpected treat was dropped into the Gough Street inbox by our good friend Justin Rushmore, one half of the extraordinary production duo known as Soul of Man (Fingerlickin’ Records). It’s the second volume in Justin’s “Breakin’ in the House” series, a delectable 86-minute everything-but-the-kitchen-sink mash-up that leaves no genre unsampled.

“In recent years DJ sets have been getting back to their eclectic roots, mashing up genres”, says Justin. “In this mix I’ve taken my favorite current house, breaks, disco, electro, techno, even dubstep tunes. These are the big ones destroying my dance floors! Subfocus, Armand Van Helden, Groove Armada, Slyde, Cirez D, Elite Force, Evil 9 and more. Plus, an exclusive tune from my new project Rushmore & Fiasco ‘The Vibe’. Enjoy the Selection!” (And enjoy it we will, Justin. No worries there. I think it’s safe to say this mix is about to find its way to the top of many iTunes playlists!)

There are two ways you can get Justin’s “Breakin in the House” mix: 1. Directly from Box.net 2. Or by subscribing to the Gough Street Sessions

S P A C E C O W B O Y S: Hipster Fixie Vamps (aka Fri happy hr at Mars Bar, Puttin' on Ritz Sat, and more)

Hipster Fixie Vamps (aka Fri happy hr at Mars Bar, Puttin' on Ritz Sat, and more)