Bay to Booooriiiiing

8Ball — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 16:46:00 +0000

Hello Friendly Person:

San Francisco used to be the coolest city in the world. Now, thanks to the invasive and cruel policies of corporate overlords, we have become the douchiest city in the world. This realization has deeply saddened me and I wish it were not true, but it is the only fathomable explanation could come up with after hearing the news that ING, long time sponsor of one of San Francisco’s richest and most reward traditions, intended to spray chunky, brown ass-water all over us like a pained diaretic colon. And so far as I can tell San Francisco is taking the spray on the face with a smile. I’m talking about the 2009 Bay to Breakers, of course, and the new rules against having FUN that are being implemented by ING and the race organizers. New rules for this year include a ban on floats, booze, and nudity. This means that unless you’re an Kenyan runner posessing UNGODLY FAST legs, basically the Bay to Breakers is not for you. ING just wants you to stay home.

In other news, ING is also working towards ensuring there are no more fights in hockey games, car crashes will be nixed from NASCAR, massages will no longer have happy-endings, and if they have their way soon there will be champagne in the Champagne Room.

Obama is busy in Washington right now with economics or something, otherwise I’m sure he’d be all over these corrupt banking twats with their excessive and irresponsible behavior. No, the only way to stop this is for San Franciscan’s to stand up, strug off the yoke of douchiness, and say, “Fuck you, ING! Suck it!” (And I’d join that protest, if I weren’t under a self-imposed ban from Bay to Breakers because this one year I woke up floating in duck poop in the middle of Speckles Lake… on MONDAY! Kidding. No, really. J/K. Not. Joke…)

If you want the race to remain the same, you’re going to have to fight for it. One way is to sign this petition (or so I’m told… it might also just be a subscription form for Entertainment Weekly). If you’re on Facebook, you can add your comments to the discussion on ING’s B2B Facebook page Or, if you’re on Twitter, maybe ING’s Amy would be interested in hearing your thoughts (in 140 characters or less).

XO, H8

PS: Feel free to bring your floats, booze, and naked asses to Squaw later this month where Space Cowboys and the Unimog will be participating in SnowFest (details below)!

UPCOMING EVENTS

February 21st – Nestle Crunk – A Benefit for the Bailey Family
This party is at an “underground” location in the east bay just 10 minutes from SF. Three sound systems. ~~Open~~FULL Bar. Crazy lineup. Other surprises. This party is being thrown to help out some friends of ours that recently dealt with some serious medical issues and could use some help from our community. 100% of the proceeds will be donated to the Bailey Family.

Main Room:
Voltron Shlong v Franks & Dongs (Kapt’n Kirk v Uncle Larry v Ernie Trevino v Ding Dong)
Aaron Jae v Bam; Moody Eva v Mozaic;
J9; Robb Green; Dirt
Special Guest set by Nice Jason aka Sphircle

Back Room (Strategik):
Joe Joe v Mace; Influence v Dj Rockit;
Jay Vigor v Jason Who?; ECQ v Anthony James;
Simple Greene; Pirata; Sikwidit

Front Patio: (Hip Hop, down tempo; funk; DnB):
Mancub; BassBen; M.O.D.; Pat Allen; Diabolyk

Location TBA via info line on Feb 20
Info Line: 415 963 3555
$10 Minimum Donation for entrance. More accepted of course…hehe
10PM til ~6AM+
Flyer Posted at http://www.strategiksf.com
www.spacecowboys.org

Tuesday, February 24 – Champagne and Bacon & Crystal Bay Club present 3rd Annual FAT TUESDAY
MANCUB (Space Cowboys), SF
DJ LUCKY (Tahopia), LT

10 years of hard work and impeccable skills rocking the San Francisco underground has paid off for this Baton Rouge, LA native. Every year, beginning three years ago, Mancub has been voted one of the top 10 djs in the San Francsico Dream Team poll. It’s no surprise that his scratching and juggling, combined with a straight-up raunchy and funky track selection, has earned him the title “West Coast Heavyweight Breaks Champion,” if not for the very least that he scratches in boxing gloves.

The Red Room in the Crystal Bay Club Casino
14 HWY 28 Crystal Bay, NV
No cover, 10pm-1am

Friday, February 27 – Saturday, February 28 – SNOWFEST @ Squaw Valley USA & The Lakeside in Tahoe City, CA

Friday, February 27th. The UNIMOG kicks the party off at Squaw on the deck all afternoon, then into the evening with fireworks, the torch parade and the Snowfest Opening Ceremonies at Olympic Plaza. The festivities continue with the Cowboy DJ’s at the official afterparty right there in the Plaza Bar.

Saturday, February 28th The UNIMOG will again be rockin the Olympic Plaza deck all day at Squaw, keepin your turns groovin’.

Then after the lifts close, join us for a little “Apres Skis – San Francisco Stylee”! We’ll be rolling the UNIMOG down into Tahoe City for our annual “SnowDown”; this year at the Lakeside, North Lake’s only “proper venue”, as part of the official festivities “downtown”; with a killer view of the lake and the sunset!

This year the mayhem starts at 6pm! We’ll be hosting a block party in front of the Lakeside, playing beats lakefront on the UNIMOG! So have dinner/drinks/pizza at the Lakeside (they serve until 9pm I think) and don’t miss a thing.

Then we’ll more the party inside the club and keep going late into the night; with the Space Cowboy’s DJs and RIPE Allstars throwing down ice blocking breakbeat and hearth warming house music.

All proceeds from our annual “SnowDown” go towards our non-profit quest to keep your galaxy funky!

RECOMMENDED

TACO TUESDAY is BACK!!
Drop by the brand new TRIPLE CROWN (Market at Octavia) each Tuesday from 5:30PM – 10PM for Taco Tuesdays.

NEW MUSIC

Space Cowboy DJ Mancub and Simo have a new single “Punks of Funk” out. Look for it on sleevin.com and addictech.com

S P A C E C O W B O Y S: Bay to Booooriiiiing

Bay to Booooriiiiing