Hold on to yourself! (Upcoming events, incl. Beyond The Fence, Return of the Wookie, More!)
Hello Friendly Person:
(This one’s long and NSFW, so if you’re in a hurry or if the boss is looking over your shoulder you can skip to our cool upcoming events like the Beyond The Fence trunkshow this Saturday, or our recommended fundraiser event DODOCALYPSE… otherwise, buckle up and hold onto your junk!)
Back in the olden days of 2007, people on the interwebs were getting all hot and bothered about something called Second Life. For those of you who are too young to remember, Second Life was basically just like Burning Man—a big, wide open landscape where people were free to wave their freak flags and behave inappropriately 24/7, except whereas Burning Man is just a week or so and takes place in a real space on a big ass playa, Second Life is all year ‘round and takes place in a fake space on a bunch of computers. So keeping all that in mind, let me tell you about my buddy who I’ll call “Ralph” and the adventure he had when he went into Second Life.
Ralph had been hearing about the whole Second Life thing for a while, so eventually he decided to find out what all the hub bub was, so he downloaded the app, logged in, and got himself an avatar. Ralph customized his avatar until he felt it looked sufficiently bad ass, but then he noticed his new body was missing a key component. He had no dick. This could not stand. So Ralph up and flew around the world of Second Life in search of a dick shop. Luckily, there’s plenty of dicks in Second Life, so Ralph didn’t have search long before he found a happy little shop with a wide and varied selection of schlongs. Ralph browsed the dicks until he found the nice, slightly curved length of flesh pipe that he knew would complete his avatar. Ralph coughed up a few hundred Linden dollars, and the new dick was his. Since he was new to Second Life, Ralph was unsure what the proper social protocol was for installing a dick—was this something he could do in public, or would Second Lifers react the way real lifers would if they saw some tall, shirtless dude with a pink mohawk slipping into a strap-on in public? Ralph decided to fly away to some place more private. Sailing above the islands of Second Life, Ralph spied an unpopulated beach. That was the place. Ralph landed a few virtual yards from the surf, looked around and decided he was alone. He took out his new dick and gave it a look. It was something alright. Bigger, shinier, and veinier than his own real life unit. This was a thing of beauty and power. It was the best dick ever. Now he just had to figure out how to put it on. He waved it over his crotch, hoping it would magically attach, but the dick just stayed in his hand. He tried holding it between his legs, but that didn’t work either. Finally, he decided to press it into place and then let go. When he did, the dick dropped into the sand. Unfortunately, Second Life is a world without much texture, and at times it lacks visual depth. Since Ralph’s dick was essentially the same color as the sand, it virtually disappeared the minute it hit the ground. Ralph squatted, and squinted, sifted, and scoured, but after a long time of looking he realized he’d completely lost his dick. He finally gave up and Ralph flew away, bummed and dickless.
The story has a happy ending, though. A couple days later Ralph got a package in his email from a stranger who’d found his dick and sent it back to him. So, apparently Second Life is like Burning Man in another way—people aren’t scare to handle dicks that don’t belong to them. (Oh, fine, and people are honest, yadda yadda.)
XO,
H8
UPCOMING EVENTS
Saturday, August 15 – Beyond the Fence – A Playa Inspired Independent Designer Trunk Show
From the designers and event producers that brought you Beyond the Fence, Inspiration for the Playa, Prepare for the Playa, Funk n’ Trunk, and more…
NicolePresents, Tamo Design and S&G Clothing present…
Over 40 of San Francisco’s finest independent designers are gathering together to bring you the freshest design for both on and off the Playa!
For a full list of the designers participating please visit:
http://blog.nicolepresents.com
There will be fabulous DJs from all your favorite camps.
Opulent Temple – Dulce Vita
Deep End- Zach Moore
Space Cowboys – 8Ball
Green Gorilla Lounge – Anthony Mansfield
Dustfish – NoMe
Robot Heart – Bianca
Have fun! Bring your hoops, poi and staff for community practice. Isa Glitter Girl will perform at 4pm indoor and 6:20pm outside with FIRE!! Costumes encouraged. Live photo shoots by renowned photographers! Food by “What’s up dog?” with Regular, Chicken Apple & Veggie Dogs! $5 pineapple lemonade spritzers!
August 15th, Saturday
Noon – 7 pm
Mighty – 119 Utah, SF
FREE EVENT
Saturday, August 15 – Miles Dyson at 103 Harriet
Lineup:
Kapt’n Kirk (Space Cowboys)
Miles Dyson, Syd Gris, Influence, Dex Stakker, Deckard, Simple Green and more!
$10 Presale. $15 Door. 21+
Wednesday, August 18 – “Feel The Beat – Sports Basement Shopping Party”
Benefits the Organ Donation Awareness Campaign
RSVP and more info
6 – 10pm at Sports Basement on Potrero Hill!
Friday August 21st – TOKE (and every 3rd Friday)
Guest DJs: Kapt’n Kirk (Space Cowboys) and Sneak-E-Pete
Resident djs: Dawn of Sound, Moody Eva
at new club
AMSTERDAM
937 Geary @ Larkin
$5 cover, 21+
10pm-2am
Friday August 21st – The Return of the Wookie @ SHINE A welcome home birthday celebration for Kevin Wardell
With DJs:
Brad Robinson (Space Cowboys)
Murpstar (SEISMIC)
Jayo (BFF)
and percussion by Kevin Wardell
Shine Dance Lounge
1337 Mission Street @ 9th
Free before 11pm, 21+, $5
Aaaron Jae’s Playa Schedule…
Sept. 2/Sept. 3, Tue night/Wed morning: (3-4am) – Nexus (w/Function1 Sound this year) – Located @ 10th & Extinct
Sept. 3, Wed daytime: ( Day Party the Boombox: timeslot tba) - The Brass Tax "BoomBox" - Located 10th & Chaos
Sept. 4, Friday evening: (10-11pm) – Robot Heart (w/75,000 Watts of sound) – Location tba…..
Date & Timeslot In the Works:
Purgatory Cruiser – date & time tba….
Space Cowboys – on the Unimog …....
Garage Mahal – Art car set…....
RECOMMENDED
Friday August 14th – Space Cowboys recommend a very special fundraiser for a tremendous art car
DODOCALYPSE//the christening
Behold The Winged Beast As Beats Send Booties A’Soaring
Il Pirata
2007 16th St, SF
21+, $10 donation requested on sliding scale
Every few years a camp stands to stand out on the playa with an energy that you either didn’t notice because you were too busy with your own projects, or you missed out (FOMO) because of the 1800 other events going on that minute of the day. Our friends from Monticello – The Camp have been working their flying fingers to the bone to get their airship ready to launch for the playa in a few short weeks. We would love your support as well as attendance at a great event to meet and greet with the Dodo wise-crack team!
More info on Facebook
