Upcoming events, and AD&D: Advanced Disneyland & Drugs 1
Hello Friendly Person:
Yes, you. I see you. In fact, you may think you’re being discrete but the truth is everyone sees you. Sure, you’re at a sold out show at the Fillmore, and it’s packed and dark, but just because you cup your hand over your lighter when you fire up your pipe doesn’t mean that it isn’t the most obvious thing in the world. There’s the glow from the lighter splashes all over your face like headlights on a cop car, and then there’s that billow of smoke that you blow upward so the ventilation system picks it up and then blows it all right back down. The only reason the bouncers don’t bother you is because there’s a steady parade of hot, drunk chicks marching to and from the bathroom, and that’s way more interesting to watch. The only reason you think you’re being discrete is because you’re stoned. Trust me, if you weren’t stoned, you’d see, too. And YOU! Over there sneaking shots outta that flask! Don’t be laughing at the stoners! You have the same problem they do—the only reason you think you’re being sly with that flask is because you’re drunk!
Fucked up people are never subtle in public. And the worst part is, they ALWAYS think they are. It’s horrible. I think there’s probably some kind of probablistic model that we could come up with that says something like: Chances of getting noticed getting fucked up = 20% x the number of steps involved with consuming your drugs (with an exponential modifier coming into play depending on how shithoused you are already). So if you’re just popping a pill, you’ve got a good chance of getting away with it. But if we say cooking and shooting smack has 8 steps x 20%, that means your avegage junkie has a 160% chance of getting peeped if he gets high in public.
Once, my friends went to Disneyland to get high. Apparently this happens all the time, so much so that Disney open a whole new lucrative side business selling “I went to Disneyland on [FILL IN THE BLANK]” shirts and sweaters. One of these friends thought he was being discrete when he decided to 1) take a film canister out of his pocket, 2) open it and peer inside a while, 3) then stick his finger in it to poke at the contents, 4) pour the contents, psychedelic mushrooms, on an ice cream sundae, then 4) stir the mushrooms in and eat the sundae. That means he had an 80% chance of getting seen, maybe higher Disneyland has security cams everywhere. If this had been a game of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (instead of Advanced Disneyland & Drugs), the Dungeon Master would’ve told my buddy to roll a saving throw to avoid getting hauled off to Disneyland Jail. But this amazingly indiscreet friend also had amazingly good luck, and soon he was happily tripping his balls off in Fantasyland. Actually, I think the Disneyland cops been hungover that day, because other highlights from their adventure included several of them peaking on ecstasy while shooting down the water flume of Thunder Mountain (and yes, they bought the picture), and later a group of young men huddled on Main Street in a circle, holding hands until the lights went down for the Electric Light Parade. I’m sure several families went home early that day.
Speaking of D&D, check out these crackheads:
XO,
8B
UPCOMING EVENTS
Friday, June 19 – Fort Knox 5 at Paradise Lounge
The Fringe Arts Collective is throwing down on June 19 with a 10-hour dance-athon featuring Washington DC breakbeat superstar Fort Knox 5
Joining the afro-wearing partystomper will be Djs from some of San Francisco’s most beloved dance crews including Space Cowboys Mancub, Capt Kirk, and 8Ball, Opulent Temple’s Syd Gris, BLVD’s Dylan Cahill, Leon Cook (Hardscience), Greg Eversoul (Colorecordings), Ground Control (EnVision) and the Fringe’s own MoPo, Big Dolla, U9Lift, Mycho Cocoa, Tim Dietz, and Victor Vega. The fun will begin during Happy Hour at 6pm and will rock on into the early morning hours.
Live painting by Fringe Arts Collective
$10 advance
Paradise Lounge
1501 Folsom St @ 11th
6pm doors until after hours…
More info:
www.sunsettickets.com
Facebook
Friday, June 19th – Brass Tax presents… MASSIVE BOX
An Epic Throwdown for the Brass Tax BOOMBOX!
Ladies and gentlemen: Brass Tax has unearthed the missing link in the evolution of the venerable ghetto blaster. Buried deep in a warehouse on the balmy shores of Treasure Island, we have discovered what scientists have dubbed “Boomasaurus Rex,” the king of all Boomboxery. Standing 14’ high by 36’ wide and loaded with enough sound to disturb the mating habits of the Drunkus Bu’asaurus, this massive Boombox inspires awe, giddiness and uncontrollable dancing in all who witness it!
Come experience the Boombox in all its blinking, booming glory at MASSIVE BOX, Friday, June 19th on Treasure Island! This will be the last chance for you to see the Boombox until we cart it out to the playa for Burning Man. We’ll have two rooms of sound with the phattest of beats spanning breaks, house, drum & bass, ghettotech and hip hop from the following DJs, representing Brass Tax, FnF, Angels of bAss, Strategik, Space Cowboys, Deep End, BAAD News, Tang and more:
Ding Dong,Ernie Trevino, JoeJoe, Mace, Schwa, Ethan, j9, Tamo, Viajay, Influence, Loosebeats, Clarkie, bassben, Pirata, M-Rock, Redstickman
Massive booty-quaking sound by JK Sound.
We’ll also have Peter Hudson’s Homouroboros, Live Painting by Ezra Li, Visuals by ocul8r, Lighting by Rumpus Room, ManyFest Destiny’s Covered Wagon, the Steampunk Treehouse, the D.M.A Raphus Ineptus airship, Double Dutch jump-roping, Malibu cannons, and a whole slew of shenanigans at this fully permitted throw-down, so put on your favorite track suit and come ready to GET DOWN!
Presale tickets are only $15 and are available here
Tickets will be $20 at the door, so save yourself some money and buy your tickets now! While this party will certainly be massive in terms of sound, fun and shenanigans, we have no desire to pack you all in like rats, so please be aware that we have a limited capacity: Once tickets are sold out, that’s it, so don’t sleep on it!
Please note: this is a 21 and over event. We will be checking IDs at the door, and minors will NOT be admitted nor receive refunds. Sorry, them’s the rules. Also, please no outside alcohol as our permit is limited to booze sold onsite. We’ll be serving tasty cocktails and beer at multiple bars for reasonable prices. Thanks for your understanding.
For location and other details, please visit Brass Tax. Tickets Any other questions, concerns, etc, contact us at thebrasstax@yahoo.com.
Friday, June 19th on Treasure Island, SF
10pm-4am, $15 advance, $20 at the door, 21+ w/ID
SATURDAY – SUNDAY
JUNE 20th – JUNE 21st
10pm Saturday – Noon Sunday
The SHOW
For 14 hours of non stop music madness!
Sense SF & Nicole Doherty present
Punks of Funk “the remixes” Record Release!
THE LATE SHOW: 10pm – 5am
S.I.M.O
(SLEEVIN RECORDS, NSBRADIO, SF)
MANCUB
(SLEEVIN RECORDS, SPACE COWBOYS, SF)
SMOOVE
(FUNKETRONIC, NEWSBREAKZ, SF)
MEPHISTO ODYSSEY
(GROOVE QUEST, SF)
GROUND_CONTROL
(AUDIO ARMS RACE, SF)
The Early Show (6am – noon)
CHRIS GARCIA
(DJCHRISGARCIA.COM, MYSPACE.COM/CHRISGARCIADJ, LAS VEGAS, NV)
BEN SEAGREN & DEAN SAMARAS
(ENDUP, RUBY SKYE, SENSESF.COM,
MYSPACE.COM/SENSERECORDS, SF)
RSVP to $10 list at www.sensesf.com/show
$20 door
THE END UP (401 6th St.)
SF, CA
Ins and outs until 9am!!!!
Saturday, July 11 – big art studios presents SAND BY THE TON at American Steel
Join us at Oakland’s newest beach for a grand opening fundraiser of epic proportions. Swimwear encouraged!
4 electronic music stages
3 live music stages
250,000 square feet of art studios
1000s of your closest friends
200 TONs of sand
1 carnival midway
5 swimming pools
4 electronic stages by:
Space Cowboys
Opulent Temple
Symbiosis
False Profit
Gravity Point
Neuroweapon
2 live music and entertainment stages
The Mutaytor
The Mermen
Extra Action Marching Band
Gooferman
Eric McFadden
Polkacide
Beats Antique
999 Eyes
Mark Growden
Drop Motion
Art from:
Dan Das Mann + Karen Cusolito
The Flaming Lotus Girls
Cyclecide Heavy Pedal Rodeo
Michael Christian
False Profits Labs
Orion Fredericks
Michael Sturtz
Mark McGothigan
Justin Gray
Evan Tracy
American Steel
1960 Mandela Parkway, Oakland, CA
4pm – late, Free BBQ ‘til 7pm
21+
Tickets
ADDITIONAL DETAILS:
There will be a late night bus shuttle to San Francisco & BART is close by
Secure parking and valet available
Email info@thebigartexperience.com for VIP
Sunday, July 19th – Save the Date for JC Cellars Summer Beach Party
JC Cellars is hosting their annual summer open house beach party!
Wine tasting, appetizers, and music – children are welcome!
Located in Oakland – 8 blocks from Jack London Square – JC Cellars will be transformed into a lovely beach.
Beach-themed musique is to be provided by superstar deejay and wino Brett Pinkin (Seismic + Spacecowboys)
JC Cellars Winery: 55 4th St. in Oakland
1pm – 4pm
Tel 510-465-5900
www.jccellars.com
RECOMMENDED
Friday, June 18 – Shifting Paradigms for Pride: Fundraiser for LGBT center
Art Reception at Gallery 560 with correlated online auction through ebay.
The exhibition will culminate with a 56 Hour Open Floor Auction beginning June 18th with a portion of the sales being directed towards LGBT issues via LGBT Community Center.
DJ M3 will be spinning during the event, other DJs and performers after (TBA)
1:00 PM : Online Bidding Begins
6:00-9:00 PM : Opening:
Reception: bidding begins
Sunday, June 20 -
5:00PM : Internet and Phone bidding closes
6:00-9:00 PM : Opening Floor Bidding
9:00 PM: Final Call for Bids
Location: 420 Sutter St (Sutter/Stockton, right around the corner from the Tunnel Top)
Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you there!
Media Contact and artist submissions:
Marily Jones, Co-curator/Art Director
Marilyn@Gallery560.com
415.595.7863
Kung Fu, Rock Paper Scissors (this Saturday!), American Steel and more
Hello Friendly Person:
Sad news today for Kung Fu fans everywhere. David Carradine passed away. The guy had 222 acting credits to his name on IMDB, and he played ultimate badass Bill in Kill Bill 1 & 2. But it’s really cowboy asskicker Kwai Chang Caine in the epic 70s series Kung Fu that matters most. Kung Fu was basically the same formula as the Hulk TV show. Caine was like a Chinese version of Bruce Banner; they both walked the Earth, taking menial jobs, while trying to keep a low profile. The main difference was when Bruce Banner walked around in the modern day, and Caine walked around in the wild west. When Bruce got mad he turned in body builder Lou Ferrigno in green body paint and a bad wig. Caine stayed Caine, he just give you a servin’ of slap stew. Caine would wander around, trying to adhere to his pacifist beliefs and stay out of trouble, but every week, wouldntchaknowit, trouble would find Caine. Of course the drunk cowboys and railroaders didn’t know this particular Chinaman had snatched the stone out of the old Shaolin master’s hand, walked sideways over several feet of butcher paper without leaving a trail, and lifted up a pot of rocks with JUST HIS FOREARMS. And after 50 minutes of turning the other cheek, Caine would finally be forced to Hulk-out and lay down slow motion asswhup. He’d huck a few drunk white dudes through a saloon window, and then pack up his sleeping bag and walk the Earth some more while playing his flute. RIP, Dave.
And speaking of Kung Fu, your chance to throw down is just a couple days away. Space Cowboys will be bringing the Mog along to Roshambo’s Annual Rock Paper Scissors Tournament this Saturday. Bust out our sweat suits, your clown suits, your bathing suits, or whatever other cosutme you got. Details are below… Hope to see you there!
XO, 8B
UPCOMING EVENTS
Saturday, June 6th – 7th ANNUAL ROCK PAPER SCISSORS TOURNAMENT with ROSHAMBO WINERY at CORNERSTONE (Sonoma)
Space Cowboys will be bring the Mog and the music to this year’s Rock Paper Scissors Tournament, and just like last year it promises to be another great Day event (hence keeping with the theme of this edition of the announcement)!
Naomi from Roshambo says:
To hoards of Bay Area faithful, early June signals the most outrageously fun sporting event of the year… Roshambo Winery’s annual Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship. The winery’s signature event will be held at their tasting room at Cornerstone-Sonoma on Saturday, June 6th, and like every year, is expected to draw hundreds of people throwing fists and fingers for their slice of the $1700 pie. Last year’s tournament drew 256 competitors and hundreds of spectators – from as far as Sydney , Tazmania, Toronto, Tokyo , D.C. and New York . “It’s a great excuse to get dressed up, slip into character, and celebrate life,” says Roshambo’s president and self-proclaimed “Wine Hero,” Naomi Brilliant. “Especially in times like these.”
Cornerstone-Sonoma, 23570 Hwy 121, Sonoma , CA
High noon ‘till 6pm
Competitors $20 – Spectators $10
Tickets at www.roshambowinery.com
More info
Saturday, June 6th – Gemini Birthday @ Shine
DJs: Deckard, Sh00ey, Shizzla, J-rod
9pm – 2am
Friday, June 19 – Fort Knox 5 at Paradise Lounge
The Fringe Arts Collective is throwing down on June 19 with a 10-hour dance-athon featuring Washington DC breakbeat superstar Fort Knox 5
Joining the afro-wearing partystomper will be Djs from some of San Francisco’s most beloved dance crews including Space Cowboys Mancub, Capt Kirk, and 8Ball, Opulent Temple’s Syd Gris, BLVD’s Dylan Cahill, Leon Cook (Hardscience), Greg Eversoul (Colorecordings), Ground Control (EnVision) and the Fringe’s own MoPo, Big Dolla, U9Lift, Mycho Cocoa, Tim Dietz, and Victor Vega. The fun will begin during Happy Hour at 6pm and will rock on into the early morning hours.
Live painting by Fringe Arts Collective
$10 advance
Paradise Lounge
1501 Folsom St @ 11th
6pm doors until after hours…
More info: Sunset Tickets Facebook
Saturday, July 11 – big art studios presents SAND BY THE TON at American Steel
Join us at Oakland’s newest beach for a grand opening fundraiser of epic proportions. Swimwear encouraged!
4 electronic music stages
3 live music stages
250,000 square feet of art studios
1000s of your closest friends
200 TONs of sand
1 carnival midway
5 swimming pools
4 electronic stages by:
Opulent Temple
Symbiosis
Space Cowboys
False Profit
Gravity Point
Neuroweapon
2 live music and entertainment stages
The Mutaytor
The Mermen
Extra Action Marching Band
Gooferman
Eric McFadden
Polkacide
Beats Antique
999 Eyes
Mark Growden
Drop Motion
Art from:
Dan Das Mann + Karen Cusolito
The Flaming Lotus Girls
Cyclecide Heavy Pedal Carnival
Michael Christian
False Profits Labs
Orion Fredericks
Michael Sturtz
Mark McGothigan
Justin Gray
Evan Tracy
American Steel
1960 Mandela Parkway, Oakland, CA
4pm – late
Free BBQ ‘til 7pm
NOTE: No one under 21 years old will be admitted.
Tickets
ADDITIONAL DETAILS:
There will be a late night bus shuttle to San Francisco
BART is close by
Secure parking and valet available
Email info@thebigartexperience.com for VIP
RECOMMENDED
Friday, June 18 – Shifting Paradigms for Pride: Fundraiser for LGBT center
Art Reception at Gallery 560 with correlated online auction through ebay.
The exhibition will culminate with a 56 Hour Open Floor Auction beginning June 18th with a portion of the sales being directed towards LGBT issues via LGBT Community Center.
DJ M3 will be spinning during the event, other DJs and performers after (TBA)
1:00 PM : Online Bidding Begins
6:00-9:00 PM : Opening:
Reception: bidding begins
Sunday, June 20 –
5:00PM : Internet and Phone bidding closes
6:00-9:00 PM : Opening Floor Bidding
9:00 PM: Final Call for Bids
Location: 420 Sutter St (Sutter/Stockton, right around the corner from the Tunnel Top)
Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you there!
Media Contact and artist submissions:
Marily Jones, Co-curator/Art Director
Marilyn@Gallery560.com
415.595.7863
Friday, July 3 – KRAFTY KUTS plays Funkonnection @ Triple
With MoPo and others TBA
Triple Crown
1760 Market Street
Tickets
Also: Sign up for Krafty’s email list and receive Krafty Kuts’ latest ‘From the Old to the New’ DJ mix, a collection of classic tracks. Send your full name, email address and the country you live in to signup@kraftykuts.com and they’ll send you the link.
Space Cowboys host Beat Brunch at Triple Crown this Sunday
Join some of us at Triple Crown on Sunday May 31st for a fantastic and fresh brunch and all you can cram in your ears Cowboy sound session. Space Cowboy DJs rrrus & 8ball, and FOCs Deckard & Trav will be on the decks from 12PM-7PM for your bacon and beverage dancing and head bobbing enjoyment.
Drinks specials include a Carafes of Mimosas ($10) and Build-You-Our-Bloody Marys ($7) until 2pm.
Come down for the brunch and stay for the beats!
Triple Crown – 1760 Market Street Starts at noon, ends before dinner.
NO COVER, ALL AGES
